I read a post on Facebook today and although I can’t remember what the post was about, I remember that one of the comments said that divorce was the easy way out. I wanted to reply to that person’s comment and tell them how wrong they are, but I didn’t. Instead, I’m going to give my two cents here.
To me, divorce was not necessarily the easy way out. I had worked so very hard in my marriage. I had forgiven (but not forgotten) so many things. I had brought my issues with the relationship to the table and I discussed them with my ex. I poured my heart and soul into hard conversations with him. I honestly wanted things to work out between us. But, what I received in return was someone who listened, but didn’t hear. Someone who said he understood, but never took action to fix the issues at hand. I’m not going to sit here and bash my ex, because I know that will do no one good. But, what I want to bring to light is that I tried so hard. I gave so many chances. I put up with so many things. Now, don’t get me wrong, I was not perfect by any means. But, when an issue was brought up, I tried to correct it as best as I could.
I did this for six years. Towards the end, we had a few conversations where I made it clear that I had reached my end. Things had to change. I couldn’t do this anymore. Now when I say that, I mean that I didn’t want to live this way anymore. There are certain elements that are needed to keep a relationship going and those elements were missing. They had been missing for a while and I had prayed about it. I had fought about it. I had done whatever I thought I could to make things better. But at the end, I was tired of things being the way they were.
So, I took the hard road – the road that people like to call the easy way out. I asked my best friend for a divorce. He was my rock. When something happened during my day, he was the one who I reached out to. When I had good or bad news, he was the one I called. He was the one I shared my days with, my weekends, my vacations, and my holidays. He was literally my best friend. Tell me why people call this the easy road? To tell someone you no longer want to be married to them is certainly not easy. Going from best friends to someone you can no longer call is not easy. Going through a divorce, even after it is over – is not easy.
I have so much anger towards him. I have anger because my marriage didn’t work out. I have anger because people make comments that divorce is the easy way out. Sure, I could’ve stayed and we could’ve lived that way for another half dozen (or more) years, but neither of us were getting what we needed from the other. Who on earth wants to live that way? Am I saying that divorce is right? No, not at all. But, I’m saying that I had to do what I had to do to make my life better in the end. I wanted to be with someone who could give me the things that I needed and I wanted to be able to be the person that they needed.
Divorce is not the easy road. Divorce isn’t something that I took lightly. It’s not something that is done and you’re suddenly happy because of it. I just wish that I could explain to some people that I believe that I did the right thing and I’ll stand by my decision – even though I believe that God doesn’t approve of divorce. I know that I have sinned, but I also know that He forgives. I know that He knows my heart and He knows that I didn’t make this decision quickly.
Arkansas Runner 