I saw this beautiful golden cloud the other day as the sun was setting and we were driving home. This iPhone pic doesn’t do it justice. It just looked like a big ball of golden goodness.
This picture reminds me just how powerful God is. Seriously, with all the stress of this week, I’ve thought many, many times that everything happens in God’s timing. If God will bring you to it, He’ll also bring you through it. And, that’s just what He has done.
I’ve also reminded myself time and time again not to live for tomorrow, but take pleasure in today. Even if today is very stressful and you can’t wait for tomorrow to get here; there is always some type of pleasure to be found today.
There’s so many things that I don’t talk about here on the blog. Like, for instance, the fact that hubs and I have been trying to have a baby for a little over a year now. I have no idea what is going on, except that my body, that God created, has a mind of it’s own. I know that I need to go to the doctor to see if there is something that is abnormal, but I’m scared to. I’m scared to know what God has in store for me. I always thought that my story would be that hubs and I got married, we’d live husband and wife for a while, then we’d become a family of three or more. I never really wondered if the process would be difficult, because you hear of so many couples that weren’t even trying to get pregnant and yet it happened.
Yesterday was the first day of school for so many school districts around here. On Facebook there were tons and tons of “First Day of School” pictures. It was bittersweet for me. I loved to see the cute little happy kids of my friends, going off to their first days of school, but then I also wondered if we’d ever get to post any of those pictures. I’m sure you’re all saying that of course we will, but honestly, I’m so frustrated that it’s hard to see that.
I’ve held back saying all of this on the blog, because I know that I have some family members out there reading this. Some of them have no idea that we’re even trying to have children; others have no idea that I’m feeling this way inside. Honestly, I’m not sure how much hubs knows about how I’m feeling. Trust me, I’ve cried to him a few times. We’ve had the “what if” discussions, but I always feel bad for sitting there and whining to him, because I know he feels some of the same ways but wont say anything in fear of making me more upset. So, I just pray. I pray a lot. And I know that my thoughts aren’t the same thoughts that God has. I know he’s telling me that our story will happen in His timing. I know it’s all about God’s timing. Not just with this story, but in all the chapters and stories of our lives. We just have to have patience and trust in God. It’s easy to trust God when things are going your way, but it’s really when things aren’t going as YOU planned them, that you need to trust God. For He is always with us and watching over us. And, He has our story all planned out.